YOU >>> Self Forgiveness

What is self-forgiveness?

Self-forgiving is:

□ Accepting your-self as a human who has faults and makes mistakes.

□ Letting go of self anger for your past failures, errors, and mistakes.

□ Self love after admitting your failures, mistakes, or misdeeds.

□ Spiritual self healing of your heart through calming self rejection, quieting the sense of failure, and lightening the burden of guilt.

□ Accept the need to work so hard to make up for your past offences.

□ Discard sadness, and regret over a grievous, self-inflicted, personal offences.

Absence of self-forgiveness & the destructive consequences

In the absence of self forgiveness, there’s risk of:

□ Defensive and distant behaviour with others.

□ Pessimism, negativity, and non-growth oriented behaviour.

□ Fear over making new mistakes or of having the old mistakes revealed.

□ Self-destructive behaviours causing unresolved hurt, pain, and suffering

□ Self-inflicted offences causing more unresolved guilt and remorse for.

□ Chronically seeking revenge and paybacks toward your-self.

□ Unresolved self anger, self hatred and self blaming.

□ Lingering wound that disrupts the revitalization of self healing.

□ Overwhelmed by fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of non approval, low self-esteem, and low self worth.

Effects from Lack of self forgiveness:

□ A loss of love for yourself.

□ Indifference toward yourself and your needs.

□ An emotional vacuum in which little or no emotions are shown or shared.

□ Suspicions about others' motives, behaviors, attitudes, and beliefs when they are accepting of you.

□ Chronic attacks or angry outbursts against self.

□ Disrespectful treatment of self.

□ Self-destructive behaviors.

□ Self-pitying.

□ Chronic recalling and reminding of past failures, mistakes, errors, and offenses.

□ Chronic depression.

□ Chronic hostility, sarcasm, and cynicism.

□ Self name calling, belittling, and self demeaning behaviors.

□ Unwillingness to change and/or unwillingness to seek the help necessary to change.

□ Resistance to doing what is necessary to heal within and recover from low self-esteem.

Irrational thinking preventing self-forgiveness

Examples of thoughts that challenge change in people I’ve met & worked with …

Denial

□ No one deserved the treatment I dished out, and I do not believe that forgiveness is deserved in this situation.

□ I hurt myself so much; how can I ever expect to be forgiven for that?

□ I am sick over what I did; how can I ever forgive myself?

□ I resent myself for hurting myself or others. It is better for me to be hidden behind my wall so I don't hurt anybody again.

□ If I could treat myself or others that way, then I am undeserving of being forgiven, loved, or cared for.

□ I do not deserve any self kindness, self compassion, or self forgiveness for what I have done to myself or others; I'll see to it that I am never able to forget it!

Self hate

□ I am evil, and I am despicable. No forgiveness will ever change that.

□ I am vicious and cruel, and I always need to be on guard because of that; so why try to forgive what I have done?

Ego

□ It is a sign of weakness or softness to forgive myself. I must always keep my guard up so as never to repeat my wrongdoings.

With God

□ Only God can forgive me, though at times I don't believe He can for what I have done.

□ What has happened in my life is God's seeking revenge for all the evil I have done in the past.

Delusion

□ I am just seeking my forgiveness so that I can come back and hurt myself again.

□ All people who do wrong deserve the worst that life has to dish out.

What you can do to forgive yourself

Changing mindset

□ Belief & trust in your goodness.

□ Letting go of fears for the future.

□ Allowing your-self to be vulnerable to growth.

□ Taking a risk.

□ Developing openness to the belief that you can change.

□ Developing trust in yourself.

With God

□ Developing a personal spirituality.

□ Trust in the goodness and mercy of God to take over the burden for you.

□ Letting go and letting your God lead you during a hurtful time.

□ Believing in the infinite justice and wisdom of God.

Facing challenges, past & pain

□ Letting go of past hurt and pain.

□ Letting go of self hostility, resentment and self-destructive behaviours.

□ Working out your self anger constructively

□ Overlook/accept slight relapses or steps backward and getting back on the wagon of recovery as soon as possible

□ Open, honest, and assertive communication with yourself concerning hurts, pains, and offences experienced.

□ Identifying and replacing the irrational beliefs that block your ability to forgive yourself.